


The Game

by MajorMinor



Category: Avengers, Black Widow - Fandom, Iron Man - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Incredible Hulk
Genre: College AU, F/M, Fluff, One Shot, University AU, i'm writing this instead of an essay, some nsfw language, they just say penis a lot idk if that counts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 02:29:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5030179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajorMinor/pseuds/MajorMinor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're studying in the library. It's mid terms week and you're determined to get stuff done. From the table right behind you, you hear a whisper..."penis"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Game

“Penis…”

Natasha whipped her head up from her book, eyes tracing over everyone in the library. It was quiet, almost too quiet, she wasn’t even sure if she had heard it. No one would ever dare to start a round of ‘penis’ in the silent section of the library, especially not during mid-terms week.

“Penis.”

There it was again. Still just as quiet, but she was sure she’d heard it this time. It couldn’t have been anyone sitting in front of her, they were looking around just as frustrated and confused as she was. She turned around to see none other than Tony Stark and his dorky physics major friend whose name always escaped her.

They were chuckling like a pair of twelve year olds in a sex shop, or Tony was at least. His friend on the other hada had his head down in his book trying to disassociate himself with the jokester. When Tony had managed to stop laughing, he cleared his throat and whispered just a tad bit louder, “Penis.”

The boy sitting with Tony noticed Natasha glaring at them and mouthed a quick apology before ducking behind his book again.

“Idiots.” she murmured.

Natasha turned back around and tried to focus on her work, she didn’t have time for this. It was damn near midnight and she had an exam tomorrow at nine in the morning for biology, the last thing she needed was some frat boy playing The Penis Game right behind her.

“You’re gonna get us thrown out.” Tony’s accomplice said in a harsh whisper.

“No one knows it’s me.” Tony snickered.

Natasha rolled her eyes so hard she was surprised they didn’t get stuck in the back of her head. Of all the students in the library right now, none of them would risk starting a game of Penis in the quiet section of the library, so of course everyone knew it was him.

“Cut loose Bruce, mid terms have got a knot in your panties.”

“Well _some_ of us need to keep out of trouble so we don’t lose our scholarships dumbass.”  _Amen to that._ Natasha thought in agreement. 

After Bruce’s comment, things got quiet again. There was the occasional snicker from peanut gallery behind her, but nothing unbearable. After what seemed like fifteen minutes of peace and productivity, there was a quiet, but definitive whisper, “Penis.”

If it were possible for someone to rip a one thousand page biology textbook in half with their bare hands, Natasha was sure she would have been able to in that moment from sheer anger. She slammed the book down on the table and whipped around to face them again.

“Shut the hell up.” her whisper sounded like something akin to a hiss. Both of the boys looked startled at her sudden and fierce reply, but in classic Stark fashion, he came back with a quick comeback.

“Go back to studying Chernobyl or something Romanoff.” Tony replied quietly, still trying to avoid being thrown out despite his previous behavior.

She jabbed a finger out towards the frat boy. “You better go back to Malibu before I send you back Russian Style Stark.” She cut her eyes and her finger to Bruce. “And you,” she narrowed her eyes, making sure he took her message as seriously as anthrax. “Control your weasel before you find him skinned on your doorstep.”

“Is that a threat?” Tony asked.

Natasha decided to piggyback off of his jab about Soviet Russia. “Growing up in the KGB, they don’t teach you to make threats, but promises.”

She turned back around, hoping her warning would finally shut them up. She should have known better that the biggest ego-maniac on campus would rather take up a challenge than take up an oath of silence.

There was a scraping of chair legs behind her and some whispered warnings from Bruce to Tony, but clearly, he had ignored them. “Here we go…” Bruce sighed. Natasha looked over the top of her book to see everyone in the quiet section looking just above her head. She didn’t need to turn around to know what was about to happen.

Tony cleared his throat and she could almost hear the silent countdown that he was clearly doing. Five...Four...Three...Two...One

“Penis!” Tony’s voice echoed out across the books and desks like a lion’s roar in a canyon.

“It takes two to tango Stark.” she said to herself. She rose from her seat and followed Tony’s lead. She stood on the desk, turning around to meet Tony’s gaze. He looked impressed that she had actually taken up the challenge that had never officially been set into motion. Bruce, on the other hand had his head down on the desk, looking utterly defeated.

Natasha heaved out her chest, taking in a deep breath of air before putting Tony Stark back in his place at the bottom of the Penis Game ladder.

“PENIS!” her voice cut clean and clear across rows of books and students around them. If no one had heard Tony’s declare of the male genitalia, they sure as hell had heard her’s.

Not one to back down from a challenge, Tony knelt down on the table and grabbed Bruce by the arm, recruiting his reluctant friend into the fray.

“Tony this is a very stupid idea.” Bruce protested.

“Oh live a little Strut. Tomorrow’s your twenty-first and we need to ring it in with a bang.” Tony contended. He had managed to get Bruce standing on the table beside him without much more arguments or protests.

“And then there were three.” Natasha sounded. There was no point in trying to hid their feud anymore seeing as there were people coming downstairs from the upper level of the library to watch history in action.

“Your move Stark.” She crossed her hands over her chest, waiting for him to beat her last outcry.

“Let’s give this one to Banner.” He patted his hand on Bruce’s back, causing his friend to stumble. “C’mon Strut, you know how the game goes.”

Bruce looked reluctant but followed his friend’s instructions. He straightened his posture and puffed out his chest before letting out the most feeble shout that made a kitten sound fierce. “Penis.” he said weakly.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “You two must want me to win.” she mocked. “Stark’s gotta call you Strut for a reason. Show me why.”

The students in audience seemed to have given up on staying out of the petty game. They all started to chant Bruce’s name, egging him into beating Natasha’s still standing record. “You know, I think most of us have mid terms and GPAs to be concerned about right now.” he said.

She shrugged her shoulders. “Gotta bring your twenty-first with a bang.”

There was a collective ‘ooh’ from the spectating students as if they were watching a freestyle rap battle. “The audience demands a performance!” Tony shouted, rousing up the students even more.

Natasha gestured to the crowd around them. “Your people await you Strut.”

Bruce smirked oh-so slightly. “Some questions you don’t want answers to.” Natasha raised an eyebrow, amused by his impudent response.

“Quit stallin Banner!” someone shouted, resulting in another chanting session from the crowd.

Tony rolled up the sleeve of his jacket, looking down at the invisible watch as if timing his friend. “You got til the count of three Strut.” he shouted so that he could be heard above the chanting. The students quieted down and awaited Tony’s countdown, but more importantly, Bruce’s next attempt.

Once everyone was quiet, Tony started his countdown. “Three! Two!” He looked up and gave a quick wink to Natasha. “One!”

“PEEEENIIIIIIIIS!”

The entire silent section grew so quiet that Natasha swore she could hear the blood rushing through her ears. Everyone stood there in a stunned silence, unsure whether to be impressed by the impressiveness of Bruce’s shout or shocked that that Dead Poet’s Society worthy battlecry just came from one of the most quiet people on campus.

Tony was the only person in attendance that didn’t seem to be completely surprised by the turnout of his friend’s shout. “Science bros for the win!” he shouted. The crowd responded in uproars, chants, and shouts.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Boys.” she said to herself.

“Never, ever, fucking ever call us ‘science bros’ again.” she heard Bruce manage over the cheers.

She was sure that the crowd might have lifted Tony and Bruce onto their shoulders and carried them through the exit had campus security not showed up and disbanded the entire thing. Everyone scattered like rats in a flood as soon as the first blue uniform walked out of the elevator.

Natasha grabbed her things and ran for the exit, pushing past the crowd as best she could until she was out the door, and before she knew it, out in front of her residence hall. She leaned against the outer wall of the building, catching her breath before finally calming down enough to make it inside the building.

Just as she was reaching for her i.d. card to swipe into the security card reader, she heard someone call her name. She turned around to see Bruce standing a little ways behind her.

“Your name is Natasha right? I had to ask someone while we were running from security.” he said.

“Yeah, that’s my name.” she replied. She stepped away from the door and started towards him. “What gives you the bright idea to follow me home in the dark after we just screamed penis at each other?”

He chuckled at her response. “Nothing. I uh, I just realized that we’re in the same calculus class.”

Natasha almost laughed at herself for somehow not noticing Bruce in their incredibly small class that they attended three times a week. “Don’t get angry at this, but I didn’t even know we had that class together.”

Despite the darkness, Natasha could tell he was blushing from the way he avoided her eye contact. “Ha. Yeah well, that mid term is probably gonna be a real stick in the ass.” he started, “So, you wanna study for it sometime this week?”

“Sure thing Strut.” she replied. “Or is it Science Bro #1?”

“You just might be the only person who can call me that.” he laughed. “So, see you tomorrow in class?”

She nodded. “Definitely.”

“Alright. G’night Natasha.”

“Night Bruce.” she turned and started back towards her dorm, never so excited to wake up in the morning and go to an eight o’clock calculus class.

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to the buzzfeed video 'weird things guys to do one up each other' and the guy who danced on table in the library during mid terms to celebrate his birthday last week for giving me the dumb idea for this fic at eleven o'clock on a sunday.


End file.
